


Foolish Things

by neveralarch



Category: The Transformers (Cartoon Generation One)
Genre: Asexual Character, Chastity Device, Consent Issues, M/M, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Transformers Plug and Play Sexual Interfacing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 20:36:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19980148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neveralarch/pseuds/neveralarch
Summary: Skywarp and Thundercracker have been spending way too much time fragging and keep missing flight maneuvers because of it. Starscream, as usual, has a brilliant solution.





	Foolish Things

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to chatbuddies [Dez](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesdemonaKaylose/pseuds/DesdemonaKaylose), [Choko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chokopoppo/pseuds/Chokopoppo), and [Zeph](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HollowpointHeart/pseuds/HollowpointHeart) for letting me bounce fic ideas off them and also for not complaining _too_ much when I start writing pwp nonsense instead of working on any of the fics I'm supposed to be working on.
> 
> This fic contains consent issues including non-consensual orgasm denial and undesired touching during otherwise consensual sex, and thoughtless behavior toward an asexual character. It also contains _consensual_ orgasm delay/denial, kissing, plug-n-play sex, and chastity play. Mostly this is a happy fic and all of the characters make it out okay despite themselves.

Thundercracker gripped the data cable, his fingers toying with the latch that held it in his port. Primus, he looked so hot, especially when he started stroking his hand up and down the cable. Skywarp pushed himself up on his elbows to watch better, then moaned as the movement tugged against where the cable was locked into his own port.

"Don't get too excited," said Thundercracker, sounding way too amused and not at all like he was on the verge of a processor-melting overload. "We need to go."

"No!" Skywarp lurched over on the berth, tackling Thundercracker and knocking his hand away from the latch. "Babe, come on—"

"It's been three hours." Thundercracker gave Skywarp a quelling look even as his hips rose to let Skywarp wrap his hand around the cable. "We're missing maneuvers. Again."

"Who cares?" Skywarp leaned down to kiss Thundercracker's neck. "I've got everything I want right here."

"It's not what you want that matters." Thundercracker turned his helm to bare more of his throat. "Remember what Starscream said last time?"

Skywarp hesitated, racking his databanks. "Something about scraplet infections? Listen, I talked to Hook and he said scraplets never spontaneously manifest, no matter how many times you frag."

"No, that was last month," said Thundercracker. "This time it was—"

"Oh, yeah! Blah blah blah, lock our panels shut, whatever." Skywarp snorted. "Let me give you one more overload, okay? And then we can go listen to the Hot Air Commander yell at Dirge."

"He'll be yelling at us," muttered Thundercracker, but he sent a data packet down the cable anyway. Skywarp's thrusters sputtered as he unzipped the data and found a jumble of Thundercracker's feelings, how much he loved the fullness of his port, how much he loved Skywarp's data mingling with his own, how much he loved _Skywarp_. Skywarp hastily copied all of his own love into a file and sent it back, watching avidly as Thundercracker's optics flicked and a smile spread across his face.

Skywarp had never been this sappy before he met Thundercracker. He hadn't even sent real data before, just big nonsense packets meant to overwhelm the processor and push it to a quick overload. But Thundercracker was worth some sappiness.

Someone banged on the door. "Go away!" yelled Skywarp, busy prepping another packet of love that would send Thundercracker straight to Overloadsville, population (hopefully) two. The banging stopped, so it probably wasn't that urgent.

Skywarp heard the humming of the null rays right as he sent the data packet over the cable. There was just enough time for him to put his helm down and brace for impact before the door slammed out of its frame and into the wall.

"You're _late_ ," screeched Starscream, striding through the smoking doorway like Unicron himself.

"Oh frag," yelped Skywarp, as Starscream levelled the nullray at his helm.

"Oh _frag_ ," moaned Thundercracker, as his processor gave up the struggle with Skywarp's massive love packet and fell into overload.

"I can't believe you're interfacing again!" Starscream stalked close enough to bonk the barrel of the null ray against Skywarp's helm. "Is the air force a joke to you? Do you want the Autobots to win this war?"

"No!" Skywarp tried to push the nullray away, but his hands were shaking with the feedback from Thundercracker's overload. "No-ohh, oh, oh—"

Starscream reached down and yanked the cable out. At least one of the latches snapped off, pinging against Skywarp's thigh, and the lost connection was about a million times worse than a failed download. Skywarp's processor _ached_ with charge, but there was no way for it to finish ramping up to release unless he could plug back in. Skywarp tried a desperate grab for the cable, but Starscream sneered and stuffed it in his subspace.

"You two need to learn to keep your panels shut every once in a while," said Starscream. "I suppose I'll have to teach you." He pulled something else out of his subspace. Skywarp was still trying to figure out what it was when Starscream slapped it right over Skywarp's open pelvic port.

"What the—"

Starscream ignored Skywarp and put a whatever-it-was on Thundercracker too. Thundercracker was still too busy convulsing to notice, so Skywarp got all offended on his behalf. "What the pit are these things?"

"Efficiency enhancers," said Starscream, primly. "I _told_ you what was going to happen if you were late again. Clean yourselves up and I'll see you at the launch pad in five minutes. Don't make me come back to retrieve you."

"Yes, _Commander_ ," said Skywarp, but Starscream didn't stick around to complain about Skywarp's tone. Skywarp stuck his tongue out at Starscream's back, then twisted to get a look at the thing on his port.

It was a cap. It had a blinking red light in the center that Skywarp figured meant 'locked,' because he didn't have any luck prying it off. It pulled on his whole pelvic housing when he really yanked, like the cap was magnetized.

"Warp, that was so good..." slurred Thundercracker. One of his hands wandered down to his own pelvis. "Hey, what's this thing? Where's the cable?"

"I think Screamer sealed us," said Skywarp, glumly. At least the cap was thin enough they could close their panels up again. It'd just be embarrassing and uncomfortable, not obscene. "Come on, we need to get to launch pad before he comes back and plugs our mouths too."

\---

Skywarp figured it was basically a joke. Haha, can't keep your panels shut, alright it's been ten minutes, you've suffered enough now, let's get those things off you. He held on to that thought through the maneuvers (which he performed way better than Dirge), and through Starscream's lecture about how bad at the maneuvers everybody (Dirge) was. 

Maybe Starscream would be all sexy about it, Skywarp was into that. He'd asked Starscream to frag about a dozen times and Starscream always said no even though everyone knew that seekers were practically _designed_ to bond through frequent data exchanges and lots of sweet overloads. But the thirteenth time was always the charm. Maybe Starscream would kneel down and coax Skywarp's panel open before gently peeling the cap off with his teeth. He'd murmur apologies until Skywarp finally forgave him, and then Starscream would lower his optics and put his big mouth over—

"Skywarp!" snapped Starscream. "Pay attention!"

"I'm paying attention!" said Skywarp, but it didn't matter—Starscream started his whole rant over again anyway. Skywarp waited it out, then waited some more while everyone fled the launch pad afterward. Even Thundercracker left, apparently less optimistic about Starscream pulling off the caps, sexily or not.

"Well?" Starscream said, when it was just Skywarp hanging around, looking hopeful.

Skywarp gestured at his crotch. "You left something."

"Hmm." Starscream considered him. "Have you learned your lesson?"

"Yeah, yeah, don't be late again." Skywarp put one hand over his cockpit and made the solemnest face he could manage. "I promise. Okay?"

"Good." Starscream turned away.

"Hey, wait a second!" Skywarp just barely stopped himself from grabbing Starscream's arm. "You can't go. Get this thing out of my port!"

Starscream kept walking. Skywarp tank sunk into his thrusters as he remembered that Starscream didn't ever think anybody else had suffered enough.

\---

Thundercracker had skipped the 'beg Screamer for freedom' strategy and was busy going behind Starscream's back instead. Skywarp didn't think that was a _great_ idea, because Starscream always got nasty when you questioned his supreme authority. But Skywarp also really wanted the caps off. It had been at least two hours since the last time he'd had sex, this was ridiculous.

"It's a clear abuse of power," explained Thundercracker, while Skywarp fidgeted and tried to seem supportive. "And Starscream won't listen to reason. We need your help."

Soundwave looked at them impassively. "Starscream blocked your ports?"

"Not all of them." Thundercracker twisted his fingers together. "Just one. An, uh, an important one."

Soundwave continued looking. Thundercracker's fans kicked on, trying to cool his embarrassment.

Skywarp swooped to the rescue. "The fun port. You know."

Soundwave's expression didn't change.

"The lock and 'load port," tried Skywarp. "The pleasure hole. The lust pit. The thing you frag with, _you know_ , you have about a billion kids!"

"Data communications port," said Soundwave, which was about the most boring way you could describe someone's precious sex trench.

But Skywarp was nothing if not diplomatic. "Yeah, that's the petro-rabbit. Can you get these caps off?"

"Negative," said Soundwave.

"Great, thank you," began Skywarp, and then his processor caught up to his mouth. "What do you mean _negative_."

Soundwave shrugged. "Starscream has locking code."

"But you can hack it," suggested Thundercracker, having to speak up to be heard over his fans. They hadn't gotten any quieter while Skywarp was busy giving Soundwave hyper-crossword clues about love.

"Hack possible but inadvisable." Soundwave tapped on his console and brought up a chart. "Observe."

Skywarp scowled at the brightly colored bars. "Just explain it to me, I'm not a nerd."

"Skywarp, Thundercracker in ninety-ninth percentile of time spent interfacing, relative to other Decepticons." Soundwave flipped to another graph. "Only in fifteenth percentile of task efficiency."

Skywarp wasn't sure what a percentile was, but that didn't sound good. "What's that supposed to—"

"He's saying we spend too much time fragging," said Thundercracker.

Okay, that totally wasn't true. "We don't spend that much—"

"Fifty-eight Earth hours in the last Earth week," said Soundwave. "On average more than one third of each Earth day."

Skywarp winced. "Okay, that's a lot."

Thundercracker was still looking at the graphs. "Do you track _everyone's_ sex lives?"

"Affirmative." Soundwave closed down his console. "Skywarp, Thundercracker have other tasks. Depart."

"Do you have cameras?" asked Thundercracker. "Or are there trackers in our armor or—"

"Other tasks," said Soundwave, firmly.

Skywarp took TC's arm and started pulling him away. "You don't have to say Earth hours!" he yelled from the door, on their way out. "There aren't any other kinds of hours! This place is the only planet dumb enough to have a base sixty time unit."

Soundwave didn't acknowledge. Skywarp almost stuck his tongue out, but then he remembered that Soundwave might have cameras watching them all the time and thought better of it.

\---

Hook said it wasn't a medical problem and therefore not his business. Scrapper said it wasn't an engineering problem and definitely wasn't his business. Megatron looked like he wasn't sure if this was a joke or a horror story, muttered something about seeker drama, and then hid in his office until Thundercracker and Skywarp gave up and went away.

Thundercracker almost called Shockwave, but Skywarp convinced him that was a terrible idea. There was no telling whether they'd even have data communication ports when Shockwave was done with them. He'd probably put a mind control ray there, or a tiny missile launcher, or something else equally 'useful' and totally unsuitable for quality bonding. 

Finally, frustrated in more ways than one, Skywarp and Thundercracker gave up and went back to their quarters.

"This sucks." Skywarp flopped face-first on the berth. "I'm gonna kill Screamer. Then I can be second command and ruin everyone else's lives just like he does."

Thundercracker sat down on the berth next to Skywarp's wing. "It's not that bad."

"Not that bad for you! _I_ didn't get to overload before Starscream closed up the shops." Skywarp scowled and rubbed at his pelvic plating. There was a weird itch under the panel that wasn't going away, and Skywarp couldn't get at his port to scratch it. "And he took my cable. Do you realize how hard it is to get new cables now that Cybertron's a wasteland?"

"He'll give it back." Thundercracker brushed his fingers along the edge of Skywarp's wing. Up and down, up and down. "He just needs to cool down."

Skywarp made a rude noise that encapsulated exactly what he thought of Starscream _cooling down_. He would've said more, except Thundercracker was using both hands on Skywarp's wing now and it was kind of getting him charged up.

"Babe?" he said reluctantly. "You know we can't do anything."

"We don't have to frag." Thundercracker leaned down and pressed a kiss to Skywarp's left aileron. "I've just got this itch under my panel and—"

"You've got it too?" Skywarp turned over, nearly bashing Thundercracker with his wing. "Maybe Screamer gave us a virus. Maybe it's scraplets!"

"It doesn't feel _bad_." Thundercracker swung one leg over Skywarp’s hips, parking his heavy aft on Skywarp's knees so Skywarp couldn't get up and wreak vengeance. "Can we make out?"

"It'll make everything worse," warned Skywarp, but he wasn't strong enough to turn down Thundercracker when his optics were shining like that, or when his armor was warming up like that, or when his lips were parted like _that_. The only thing to do was sit up and kiss Thundercracker until they couldn’t stand it anymore.

Thundercracker kept shifting as he kissed Skywarp, bumping his closed panel against Skywarp's cockpit. Skywarp put his hands on Thundercracker's hips, partly to hold him still and partly because Skywarp was never going to get over being allowed to touch Thundercracker as much as he wanted. He loved watching Thundercracker lose control during sex, watching Thundercracker forget about his worries and his deep thoughts and just chase after pleasure. Skywarp pulled back just so he could enjoy the glazed look in Thundercracker's optics, and Thundercracker whined and yanked Skywarp back in by his helm vents.

They made out for a long time, Thundercracker clutching Skywarp's helm and Skywarp's thumbs rubbing circles on Thundercracker's hips. Wet, open-mouthed kisses, deep and slow like they wanted to melt into each other. Skywarp could do this for hours. Why didn't they? Usually they'd kiss for a few minutes and then someone would get their hands on someone else's port, and away they'd go to the big finish. They'd frag for a long time, but half of it wasn't really sex, more recovery between overloads. There was something beautifully lazy about sitting on the berth and just tasting TC, drinking in the little squeaks he made when Skywarp squeezed his plating.

Skywarp closed his teeth around Thundercracker's bottom lip and sucked, and Thundercracker moaned as his panel snapped open.

So much for that. "We can't," began Skywarp, but Thundercracker kissed him again.

"It's okay," Thundercracker murmured. "Keep going. Just like this."

Skywarp followed instructions—more or less. He kept kissing Thundercracker, but he did drop one hand down to rub over Thundercracker's sealed port. Thundercracker gasped into Skywarp's mouth when Skywarp touched it, so Skywarp kept playing with the cap. The blinking red light glowed against Skywarp's fingers, temptingly pretty, and when he tugged on it TC broke away from the kiss and pressed his face into Skywarp's neck, his hands falling from Skywarp's helm to squeeze his shoulders instead. Skywarp pulled harder and Thundercracker's hips arched, following Skywarp's hand.

"Good?" asked Skywarp.

" _Good_ ," moaned Thundercracker. His face screwed up with effort and he managed to bring one hand down to stroke Skywarp's panel. "Can I—"

Skywarp opened his panel, and bit down hard on the inside of his cheek when Thundercracker found the edge of the cap and _yanked_.

They almost missed the start of their next shift. But ‘almost’ was the important word for Starscream or any other jerk officers who wanted to make cracks about Skywarp's productivity.

\---

After a couple days of working hard, making out with TC, and only occasionally recharging when they literally couldn't kiss anymore without one of them falling asleep halfway through, Skywarp was finding the world to be beautiful and full of pretty colors. That might have had something to do with the way his optics kept glitching from the constant state of overcharge and sleep deprivation. Skywarp didn't care. His new way of life made even monitor duty entertaining. He could just sit here, staring at the glittery colorful screens and running his talons up and down his thigh plating while he daydreamed about what he was gonna do to Thundercracker as soon as they got off shift. 

Skywarp had snuck an old cable massager out of the medbay while Hook wasn't looking. It was going to feel so good on Thundercracker's wings, and along his fuselage, and up his thighs and onto his—

"Skywarp," said Soundwave, right in Skywarp's audial. Skywarp fell out of his chair.

"Soundwave!" Skywarp pasted on a smile. "Hey. Hello."

Soundwave regarded Skywarp for a long moment in which Skywarp was convinced he would be sent to the brig or demoted or maybe just ejected out of the base and left to swim for it. Inattention was basically high treason in Soundwave's world. But then Soundwave shook his helm and offered Skywarp a hand up.

"Code to data communications seals discovered." Soundwave sent a string of numbers over the short-range comms.

"Oh." Weirdly, Skywarp didn't feel overjoyed at the news. "Uh, thanks."

"Skywarp, Thundercracker efficiency remains low," said Soundwave. "Data communications seal lacks desired impact."

"We've been on time to everything!" Skywarp felt stung—it'd been a real struggle to get out of the berth and go to work. He'd only forced himself because this would be unbearable if Starscream _did_ plug their mouths and put a stop to the kissing. "We're the most efficient we've ever been."

"Correct," said Soundwave. "Nevertheless. Efficiency remains low."

Soundwave turned and walked out. About thirty seconds later, Skywarp finally caught on to the insult. "Oh, frag you!" he called. "I'll show you efficient! I'm gonna watch these monitors like they've never been watched before!"

Skywarp sat down and glared at the monitors for a full five minutes. Unfortunately, it was as boring as watching Starscream pick crystal fragments out of unrefined energon, which was also _aggravating_ because the crunchy bits were the _best part_. After six minutes Skywarp went back to fantasizing about his off-shift again.

Now that he had the code to Starscream's stupid caps, there wasn't anything stopping Skywarp from popping them open and getting all up in Thundercracker's port. They didn't have a data cable, but Skywarp could borrow one from the coneheads. Dirge had _three_ cables and he wasn't using any of them. No one wanted to frag Dirge—he'd probably send you a bunch of nightmares and horror stories instead of normal sexy data. 

Now that Skywarp thought about it he didn't really want to borrow one of Dirge's cables. What if it had a literal data ghost in it and Skywarp ended up with a cursed port? Not worth it.

Pit, Skywarp could probably make a cable if he could just get into Starscream's lab, though he'd have to convince TC that homemade cables probably definitely weren't going to fry their processors. He'd also need to break into Starscream's lab without getting murdered by one of Starscream's ridiculous traps. But whatever. Even if they couldn't get a cable, there was plenty of stuff you could do with a port with just your fingers and maybe a little tongue action.

Skywarp thought about licking out Thundercracker's port for a little bit, but it felt weirdly shallow. Thundercracker was hot, licking ports was hot, but... something was missing. Skywarp stared at the monitors some more, trying to figure it out.

There was a tension to having sex these last few days. Not a bad tension, like when TC as mad and wouldn't tell Skywarp why. More like when you were pulling on a big rubber band, and you knew as soon as you let it go it was going to hit some bozo like Rumble right in the face.

Skywarp imagined releasing the tension like that, as soon as he opened the cap. But that didn't feel right either.

Skywarp sighed. Maybe Thundercracker would know what the problem was.

\---

Skywarp _meant_ to talk to Thundercracker about it as soon as he got off-shift, but he'd gotten a little charged up thinking about caps and ports and sex in general. So when he caught TC in their berthroom, the first thing Skywarp did was kiss him. The second thing Skywarp did was also kiss him, and the third thing, and a bunch of things after that, light frantic kisses mellowing into deep slow ones as Thundercracker guided Skywarp back to sit on the berth.

Once they were on the berth Skywarp's processor kind of shut down and the kissing just kept happening. It was really nice, up until Thundercracker ran his palm over Skywarp's panel and a guilt subroutine suddenly jumped out from the background queue and dumped all of Skywarp's arousal out of his foreground operations. All of a sudden, the cable massager sitting in Skywarp's subspace seemed like the ultimate betrayal.

"Hey, uh," Skywarp began, already feeling miserable, but then Thundercracker sighed and dropped his helm to thunk against Skywarp's shoulder.

"Soundwave told me the code to open the caps," mumbled Thundercracker.

"Oh! Me too!" The guilt subroutine resolved, leaving Skywarp feeling refreshed for about a microsecond before his processor started a confusion subroutine instead. "But I didn't use it. And _you_ didn't use it—"

"I kept thinking about the sex we've been having lately." Thundercracker didn't look up from Skywarp's plating, but his voice sounded like he was feeling a bit better too. "I really liked it."

"We haven't _had_ any sex," said Skywarp, and then stopped as he thought about it. "Either we haven't had sex, or we've been having one sex really slowly for three days."

Thundercracker kissed the underside of Skywarp's chin and stroked Skywarp's panel, and, yep, that felt like sex. Skywarp didn't know what to do with that information. He'd been pretty sure sex had to involve plugging something into somebody, but this was definitely more than foreplay. This was a whole new world of fragging.

It was also kind of too much.

"We can't stay shut up forever," Skywarp decided. "The charge will keep building up until we explode."

"I don't think that's how it works," said TC, still stroking Skywarp's panel and increasing the chance of explosion.

"You don't know for sure!" Skywarp pushed Thundercracker to his feet and stood up after him. "They don't write about this stuff in books."

"They definitely do." Thundercracker tottered a little, briefly rubbing his thighs together before resolutely pulling them apart. "There's anatomy downloads, and erotica, and—"

"Come on," said Skywarp. "If we don't want to open ourselves up, I know who should."

\---

Skywarp had to bang on Starscream's door a really long time before Starscream finally answered. Long enough that Astrotrain and Longhaul came out to see what the fuss was, and long enough that Thundercracker got embarrassed and tried to become one with the corridor wall. Skywarp was a little worried that Thundercracker might bail altogether, but he was still just hiding his optics and pretending he didn't exist when Starscream finally slid the door open a few inches.

"I'm busy," he said, because of course Starscream could never make anything easy.

"Don’t care." Skywarp jammed his foot into the door gap so Starscream couldn't slam it shut. "We have a problem for you to deal with."

"Your problem, not mine." Starscream tried to close the door anyway. "Move your limb or I'll cut it off."

"This _is_ your problem," said Skywarp. "Screamer, we're still sealed."

Starscream froze. "I told Soundwave—I mean, I heard Soundwave hacked my code."

"We haven't used it." Skywarp leaned close, pulling Thundercracker in with him so Starscream could see the desperation shining on Thundercracker's face. "We were thinking maybe you could..."

"Could what?" Starscream turned his head, orienting his optics first on Thundercracker, then on Skywarp. Skywarp wondered if Starscream could feel the charge coming off them, like background static in a transmission.

"Help us out," suggested Skywarp. "Open us up, let us play... You still have my cable."

Starscream bit his lip, and there was a slight tapping noise, like he was drumming his talons on the inside of the door. "I don't—you know I don't like sex."

That was news to Skywarp. How could you not like sex? Unless Starscream meant he didn't like sex with them?

"Look, we might explode if you don't open us up and let the charge out," said Skywarp. "Boom. Exploded. Our deaths on your conscience and I _know_ you have one—"

"You can't die from overcharge," bit out Starscream. "And you have the code already! Just go and—"

"If you want us to go, we'll go," said Thundercracker, taking up the slack while Skywarp tried to marshal his anti-explosion argument. "But you sealed us, Starscream. You started this."

The tapping noise restarted, louder this time. Starscream's mouth pursed.

"Please." Thundercracker's thighs were pressed together again, and he was absently rubbing the knuckles of one hand up and down his cockpit. "We want you to do it."

Starscream let out a vent, long and slow. Then he shoved the door the rest of the way open and dragged Thundercracker in. Skywarp followed close behind, hitting the close and lock buttons for the door as Starscream herded Thundercracker onto the berth.

"Why didn't you take off the caps?" asked Starscream. "Not just for me, don't lie."

"Like how it feels." Thundercracker's voice was so low it rumbled in Skywarp's hip joints, made his teeth buzz. "Like not being able to overload. Carrying the charge with me everywhere, feeling the cap under my panel. I've been running hot for days."

" _We've_ been running hot for days," corrected Skywarp.

Starscream ignored him as he guided Thundercracker onto his elbows and knees. His hand hovered over Thundercracker's back for a moment and then he stroked over Thundercracker's aft, stopping just short of his closed panel. "That explains why you've been so distracted. I thought you'd managed to hack them right away, until Soundwave came and asked me for the code."

Alright, maybe Starscream just wasn't into Skywarp—he seemed okay with Thundercracker. It sucked, but at least it had gotten Skywarp in the door.

Skywarp glanced around the room while Starscream was busy grouping TC. He'd never gotten to see Starscream's quarters unless Starscream had at least four hours’ notice. It was messier than usual, tins of empty polish and undispersed ration cubes littering the floor. A piece of weirdly familiar old gray dented armor was sitting on Starscream's desk chair. And there was a big metal contraption on the desk, like a cross between a land mine and an iron-bear trap with teeth that looked like they matched the dents on the armor. Where _had_ Skywarp seen that armor? 

"Stop looking at my things," snapped Starscream. "You want the seals off? Come over here and earn it."

Skywarp didn't have to be told twice. Thundercracker's aft was jutted out and his panel open to display the cap on his port. Skywarp barely looked at it before something yanked at his spark and his interfacing protocols like a magnet. He had his hands on Thundercracker's hips so fast he might have actually warped over without noticing.

"Mouth first," said Starscream. "I want to watch. We'll see about the cable later."

Skywarp hunched forward and pressed a wet kiss against the cap. The red light blinked against his lips, filling his vision. There was a tingle on his tongue like charge was coming _through_ the seal, and Skywarp chased it with long flat licks. Thundercracker whimpered, just loud enough for Skywarp to hear. Could Starscream hear it too? Skywarp sucked on the edge of the cap, trying to get Thundercracker to whimper louder, and Thundercracker dug his talons into the berth cover with a tearing sound.

Starscream heard _that_. "Those are expensive," he complained, but he also put his hand on Skywarp's helm and pressed him closer. Charge was crawling along Skywarp's face now, glitching his optics until everything was that red, red light. Skywarp used his hands to spread Thundercracker's aft and let Starscream mash his face against the port.

"Stay like that," said Starscream. There was an odd edge to his voice, like he was both uncomfortable and fascinated. "Keep going." He let go and Skywarp forced himself not to follow, to stay on task and eat out Thundercracker's port like his life depended on it. Thundercracker was moaning, lost in the pleasure. Maybe he was gonna overload without ever being unsealed at all. Could they have done that all along? Skywarp clutched at Thundercracker's aft and felt the charge work its way through his optics and into his processor, rewriting all of his priority trees with the snap and crackle of—

Starscream pulled the cap off Skywarp's port.

Skywarp didn't even remember opening his panel, but now he was _open_ and _empty_ and he groaned against Thundercracker's plating as Starscream pushed a cable into his port to fill it. 

"Careful," said Starscream. "The latches on this are broken, such shoddy workmanship. I wouldn't want the cable to fall out."

Skywarp groaned again and clenched his port to try and hold the cable inside. Starscream chuckled and then pulled Skywarp _away_ from Thundercracker's port, it was _torture_ —

"I'm opening him for you, you gremlin," snapped Starscream. Thundercracker yelped as Starscream peeled the cap off his port as well, the light flickering briefly and beautifully green, and then Skywarp managed to get free and dove back in.

"Careful," said Starscream, "you're going to electrocute—" But Skywarp was already pressing as much of his tongue as he could fit into Thundercracker's port, and Thundercracker was making high breathy moans like he was about to combust, and then a surge of charge hit Skywarp right in the face and knocked him offline.

\---

Skywarp woke up with Thundercracker fussing and Starscream sounding progressively more annoyed and his port still full of cable, mmm. Skywarp squeezed his port just to feel the resistance, Primus this was good.

"See, he's fine!" said Starscream. "Just incompetent." He leaned over Skywarp, sharp nose only a few inches away from putting out one of Skywarp's optics. "You can't control yourself at all, can you? You're hardly more advanced than a drone. You just want to overload as many times as possible, whether it knocks you out or not."

"Uhuh." Skywarp ran one hand down his plating to touch where the cable was plugged into his port. As he nudged the cable his port spasmed, and Skywarp's optic feed glitched out entirely.

"You need someone to keep you in hand," said Starscream intently. "Someone to watch you. To be your self-control."

"Please." Skywarp tried to play with the cable some more, but Starscream's hand was on his, _stopping_ him. Skywarp's vision cleared enough that he could see Starscream leaning over him, and it was so easy to arch up and kiss Starscream right on his sneering mouth.

It was fine for about a microsecond. Starscream's lips were firm and warm, and Skywarp was still fully charged and ready to go off from any contact at all. But then Starscream jerked back so hard he actually fell, aft skidding on the floor and hands up like he was about to be attacked.

"Starscream?" asked Skywarp. "What—"

"Don't _touch_ me," snarled Starscream. "You're disgusting, I don't want you anywhere—"

"Oh, frag you!" Skywarp struggled into a sitting position, trying to get enough energy to tackle Starscream and beat his face into the floor. "I know you don't want to fuck, but if you didn't even want to kiss you could've just said you were too good for your _trine mate_ , air commander."

Thundercracker whacked Skywarp in the back of the helm. Skywarp was all ready to tackle him instead, but Thundercracker had already slipped off the berth and was offering Starscream a hand up off the floor.

"You don't touch me either," said Starscream, glaring at TC like he was Optimus Prime in a very good disguise.

"Okay." Thundercracker withdrew the hand. "What do you want?"

Starscream just stared at Thundercracker, like he didn't quite get the question.

"We can leave," Thundercracker offered, which was _scrap_ , Skywarp didn't think his legs would carry him and his warp drive would probably embed them in a reef.

"I—" Starscream glanced down. "No, I—It's interesting. I like watching you."

"Okay, so watching is fine," said Thundercracker. "You didn't mind touching earlier. Is that because you were in control?"

"It's not—" Starscream hesitated. "I don't—"

"Okay, we don't have to figure everything out right now. What if you sit over there," Thundercracker nodded at the desk chair, "and Skywarp and I will be on the berth and you can tell us what to do? I like that idea."

Starscream cocked his head, looking tempted. "Skywarp won't listen to me."

"Hey, I can listen," said Skywarp. "I listen _great_. But if you're too _disgusted_ to—"

Thundercracker turned around and covered Skywarp's mouth with his hand. "You're not helping," he whispered. "Have you ever seen Starscream frag with someone? Or heard about it? Not dumb rumors, I mean for real."

"Nuh," mumbled Skywarp.

"I haven't either." Thundercracker's fingers curled to cup Skywarp's jaw. "So it's not about you, and it's not your business why he isn’t interested. Were you enjoying yourself before you pushed him too far? Do you want this to keep going?"

"Yuh," said Skywarp, because he'd already established that he'd probably fall over if he tried to get up, and also he'd been having fun before Screamer made it weird.

Wait. Maybe he’d been the one to make it weird. A new guilt subroutine reared its annoying head.

"I can _hear_ you," said Starscream, his shrieky voice cutting through Skywarp’s messy processor. Starscream had pulled himself into the desk chair, shoving the mangled gray armor to the floor and pulling his feet up onto the seat. He looked like he was going to transform into a ball instead of a jet.

"And?" Thundercracker dropped his free hand down to play with the cable that still trailed from Skywarp's port, easily pulling it halfway out without the latch to keep it locked inside. "You want to tell me what to do with this?"

There was a long considering moment where Skywarp could _feel_ Starscream's processor overclocking, and then Starscream settled a little more comfortably in his chair and said "get back on the berth."

Thundercracker winked at Skywarp and settled on top of him, making Skywarp gasp and arch into Thundercracker’s warm plating.

"No!" snapped Starscream. "On your back, next to Skywarp. As far away as the cable will stretch."

Thundercracker obediently pulled away. Skywarp whined and reached for him, but Thundercracker kept moving until the cable pulled taut and Skywarp whined for another reason. His hips squirmed, fighting to keep the cable inside his port.

"You can push it all the way in," said Starscream, magnanimously. "Both of you. Slowly."

Skywarp wanted to shove the cable into his port, but he bit the inside of his cheek and restrained himself, working the cable back in with a shaking hand. Next to him Thundercracker moaned as he plugged in, and then they were _connected_ , all of that queued data from days of make-out sessions rushing across the cable at once. Skywarp jerked and the cable pulled _out_.

"Careful." Starscream got out of the chair and came over to help plug Skywarp back in, watching Skywarp's hands like he was worried Skywarp would try to grab him. "Let the data through slowly. Slower. Slower."

It was a trickle now, and Skywarp nearly cried with frustration and pleasure. He could do this for _hours_ , they'd miss every shift and every maneuver. He was going to live in Starscream's berth and fuel off Thundercracker's arousal, building it up faster than he could drain it away.

"Skywarp?" said Starscream, sounding weirdly concerned. "Thundercracker, what's he—"

"Shh." Suddenly the cable had a little slack and Thundercracker's hand was on Skywarp's face, smoothing away the tracks of coolant that had somehow escaped Skywarp's seams. "Sweetspark, are you okay?"

"It's too _good_." Skywarp reached for Thundercracker blindly. "I can't, I can't—"

"You can," said Starscream, a little more firm now. "Keep it slow, but let it build."

They weren't even sending packets across the cable, just unfiltered washes of data. Skywarp got a sensory impression of how beautiful he looked, twisted with bliss/agony. How Starscream was leaning over him, optics sharp and hungry. All of Thundercracker's warm lust and love. Skywarp didn't know what he was sending—everything felt raw and unreal, like he was in a VR system designed to seem exactly like his frame except for how it wasn’t.

"Now," said Starscream. "Let go."

All of Thundercracker's charge hit Skywarp at once, and he overloaded harder than he had in his entire life.

\---

Skywarp had never blacked out during sex before, and after doing it twice he still wasn't sure if he liked it. On the other hand he wanted to do it again, as soon as physically possible. Maybe that was a sign.

He woke up to the feeling of warm hands on his plating. Skywarp was on his back, and Thundercracker was curled against his side with his arms wrapped around Skywarp's frame. Nice, Skywarp loved cuddling.

"You're sure he's not dead?" asked Starscream, from where he was apparently hovering around the berth like a helicopter without a landing pad. Skywarp only flinched a little, which he was proud of.

"Sure." Thundercracker chuckled. "His wing just nearly slapped me in the face."

"It could be death throes," said Starscream.

"I'm not dead," rasped Skywarp. Oh, wow, he sounded like it though. "Are we still—"

"Nah." Thundercracker kissed Skywarp's chin. "The cable fell out while we were, uh—"

"Thrashing," supplied Starscream.

"Thrashing," agreed Thundercracker. "It was pretty intense."

"Good intense, right?" Skywarp couldn't see Thundercracker's expression but his voice didn't sound horribly traumatized.

"Amazing," sighed Thundercracker.

Even Thundercracker venting felt good. Everything still tingled, oversensitized—his wires, his plating, his processor. Skywarp looked speculatively at Starscream. "Hey, did you want to overload? Because I wouldn't mind—"

"No, thank you." Starscream took a quick step back. "Not interested."

"Starscream doesn't like overloads," Thundercracker murmured. "We chatted while you were out. He doesn't like sex, and he doesn’t like it when his frame does things without permission. And he doesn't like people touching him when he's not expecting it. He does like watching, though."

“But what about,” Skywarp began, but Starscream’s engine rumbled and Skywarp stopped talking fast.

“I don’t want to hear your awful theory about seeker sex bonding,” said Starscream. “I watch Dirge have sex all the time and he’s not bonding with Blitzwing or Spectro.”

“It’s not just a _theory_ , I heard it from a mech at a bar, who heard it from a mech who used to work for a scientist who— “

“He was probably trying to hook up with you,” said Thundercracker.

“Oh.” Skywarp thought back. Yeah, actually, that made sense. “Wait, you watch Dirge have sex? Dirge is having sex with Blitzwing _and_ Spectro?”

Starscream shrugged. “Sometimes. They don’t let me tell them what to do, though.”

Skywarp was too tired and sated to pursue this _nonsense_. "Okay," he said instead. “Well, we’re way cooler than Dirge, I already knew that. Starscream, do you want to put the caps back on?"

Starscream drifted back toward the berth. "Back on?"

"Yeah." Skywarp smiled dreamily. "I want to do this every week. You get the control, tell us what to do and when to get off, and we get the processor-melting overloads. Seems like a good deal."

"And we still have the unlock code," said Thundercracker. "If we want the caps off early. And you’re never putting them on us without permission, ever again."

"But I liked how this worked out," said Skywarp. "I like doing things as a trine, okay? Not just sex things. I mean this is a sex thing, but. You know."

Starscream retrieved the caps from where they'd apparently fallen off the berth. "These were supposed to be an incentive," he said. "To show up on time and get your work done."

"It can be a different kind of incentive," offered Thundercracker. "Reward for good behavior."

Ooh, Starscream clearly liked that idea. Skywarp took an image capture of his face, all possessive and pleased at the thought that Skywarp and Thundercracker would be his to reward or deprive. Skywarp twisted a little in Thundercracker's arms, spreading his legs to bare his port, and took another image capture of Starscream's awed face as he put the cap back where it belonged.

"You think Megatron does this with Soundwave?" asked Skywarp, once Thundercracker was sealed up to match.

"I don't want to think about Megatron and Soundwave—urgh." Starscream shuddered.

Skywarp snickered. "I bet they do. Or, hey, maybe Megatron has one of those wireless transceivers, you remember those? And he and Soundwave are just plugged into each other all the time—"

"Shut up." Starscream pointed an imperious finger at Skywarp. "There's not enough space in the berth. I'm going to lie on top of you, and you're going to be quiet. And not touch me."

Skywarp smirked. "I think I have to touch you, if you're going to lie on top of me."

"I meant with your _hands_." Starscream scowled. "If you'd rather be thrown out into the corridor I can—"

"Shh." TC shifted so he was pinning both of Skywarp's arms to his sides. "I'm resting."

Skywarp struggled, just so they knew he wasn't a pushover, but he didn't struggle all that much. He was tired too. And Starscream, when he finally settled with his helm tucked against Skywarp's shoulder and his frame wedged against and over Skywarp's, was a warm if slightly prickly blanket.

“Do you like massages?” asked Skywarp. “Or is that too much touching?”

Starscream made an uncertain noise. “I don’t want your fingers in my seams.”

“I have a cable massager in my subspace,” said Skywarp. “If TC ever lets my arms go—“

“After I’m done recharging,” muttered Thundercracker.

“Hmm.” Starscream seemed to relax a little, become less prickly. “Okay. We’ll try it later.”

“Cool.” Skywarp beamed at Starscream’s helm. “This was a good idea."

"Of course it was." Starscream yawned. "It was mine."

Oh, Starscream was _not_ getting away with that. "You didn't know we'd find it hot! You don't even know what hot is!"

"I'm not an _organic_ , I understand what 'hot' means—"

"Shh," said Thundercracker again. "Or I'll disconnect both of your voice boxes."

That didn't stop them arguing, but after a while Skywarp was too tired to make sense and Starscream was just slurring curse words into Skywarp's plating. Thundercracker had fallen asleep about an hour ago. The lights dimmed when Starscream snapped his fingers at them, and finally everything was quiet. 

Well, everything except for the low crackle of charge slowly building in Skywarp's frame. But Skywarp was getting used to that.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this fic, consider sharing it on [Tumblr](https://neveralarch.tumblr.com/post/186546583594/foolish-things-neveralarch-the-transformers), [Twitter](https://twitter.com/neveralarch/status/1154498287535132674), or [Dreamwidth](https://neveralarch.dreamwidth.org/101564.html). Comments are also appreciated :)


End file.
